About Me

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I am a single mother of 4; 3 who live with me full time. I have been sick for over two years. I was diagnosed with Celiac in December 2012, Rheumatoid Arthritis in June 2013, and Fibromyalgia in November 2013. I am trying to change my life, change my world to meet my new found limitations. I am still going through the phases of anger, pain, sadness, and acceptance. I have accepted a few things, but I know this is going to be a long journey. Walk with me through the life I am building, as I let my old life go.

So to sum it up. ABOUT ME: This is me. Raw. Angry. Sad. Happy. Just me.

5 thoughts on “About Me

  1. I can really identify with your anger. Easy is not a simple word, neither is collecting prescriptions in the hope that this one is the one that will help. Thank you for chosing to follow my blog.

  2. Hi, it’s me again. (just posted a reply to one of your other posts) Boy can I relate to this. I love your honesty. I’ve been in chronic pain in varying degrees for 30+ years. I get angry too. I just want to assure you that it is normal to get angry. Who the hell wouldn’t. Anyone who has been given a diagnosis that in effect, means you will suffer pain every day of your life would be nuts not to be angry. You feel what you feel. And it’s okay. You are entitled to feel angry.

    I wish I could say the anger will fade with time but it may not. Some people are lucky and find their way out of the anger. So far, I have not. I am not one of those admirable people who somehow rise above their illness and their anger and have some sort of ethereal, heavenly smile on their face while they speak of how they’ve learned from their illness and all that stuff. I mean, if they have, that’s spectacular and good for them. But, me? No. Not yet. Maybe some day. LOL I keep hoping.

    The only thing that’s kept me from going insane is to just keep finding humor and to keep laughing. Sometimes laughing at the absurdity of it all helps me keep my perspective. Some days I am not in the mood for anything remotely funny. But some days, it’s all that keeps me from falling into that “dark place”. So if I can leave you with anything positive from all this, it’s to keep looking for things that make you laugh. The laughter at the absurdity of life has saved me…many, many times. xoxo

    • If there was a way for me to like your comment, I would. That is the way I have learned to cope with most tragic, and painful things in my life. As much as I sound like a martyr when I say that my illness is a tragedy, in my world it really is! Knowing that I will deal with this the rest of my life is a horribly tragic thing! And I get to relive that tragic moment each and every day.

      My kids have started to call me “Ol’ lady” or “Ol’ woman” when I ask them to fetch me things. I wiggle my arms about and tell them that if I wasn’t such a cripple I would get it myself. Sometimes I even flop around a little, acting as though I am trying to get up or move around, but to no avail. We all know that in all reality I CANNOT get up at that moment, but being silly about it makes my babies laugh, and makes light of the situation.

      We have also found some additional bonding from this situation as well. My girls know that though physical contact can help, snuggling with another human being can actually increase your chances of fighting off infections, and healing. I have read many articles about it online, and have found that it really does help. When I am lethargic on the couch, fatigued, and all around miserable, my little girls will come lay on top of me, or snuggle around my body where they can to “help mommy get better”. It has come down to if I am upset my 6 year old will say, “Mommy! Don’t stress! You will get sicker and then we will have to snuggle you all night!”. I am angry about my illness, but in all reality, there are some positive things that come from it… right? Like super ultra snuggle time with my little minions, that they may not have otherwise been willing to give me so much. ❤

      • Awww!! Your little ones sound like a true bright spot in your life. I am so glad that you have them to love & help you. I can just picture them, all around you. That is a wonderful thing. xoxoxo

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