My Life Force

I have regained my footing. My power. My love. My life force!

I feel as though I’ve taken back my power and your pockets are once again empty. Not a single bit of me left in your hands. You have no idea what to do with my powerful force anymore. I know you felt it leave. I saw it in your eyes, though I never met your gaze. I felt it returned to me as the day went on. 

The inability to catch my gaze, while you can’t take your eyes off of me. I noticed your ever increasing stare.  She noticed as well; don’t think she didn’t. What a thing to do in the presence of your lover. The mother of your unborn child. For shame. The powers have shifted back to my favor, and I’m never returning my feelings to you. A man like you doesn’t deserve a woman like me. You deserve a girl like her; one on your same level. Naive, irresponsible, and careless. I’m far beyond that stage in my life, and I need not the nonsensical drama that comes along with your immaturity. 

Go home and mourn the loss of me, like I mourned you long ago. Play house and see that there’s more to love than making babies. More to life than procreation. Hearts to hearts, and you had mine. Until yesterday. Until I saw you with her, and saw the way you looked at her, looked at me, and knew. Those eyes don’t sparkle anymore, do they? Not how they do for me. Not how they danced even weeks ago when I avoided your ever peering gaze, so unwanted, unwelcome, and hurtful. Dancing upon my face, my long hair, my smooth skin. I know you remember the force to be reckoned with that I am; that we are together. A storm that died before the new year began. Died because lies touched lips you dared to share between lovers. I never deserved that pain.

Now I will polish, cherish, and give my force of a heart to him. The man who now knows my touch, my kiss, my force to be reckoned with. He feels the power from me, and sees the value in my heart. 

I left you empty handed yesterday, and lined his pockets with a fierceness he’s not ever known. Mind, body, and soul. I blew through his door with a new found force, and blew his mind. You know the power I have, and now he knows it as well. Through and through. 
I have my heart back, and when I’m ready, I’ll give it away again. Maybe to my lined pocket man, maybe another. But for now, I’m full of my life force again. How’s it feel to be drained?


It’s Not Yours To Keep

I just want my heart back. 

Want to have my love back from you so I may give it to another one day. One who wants it. One who will cherish it, and appreciate it for what it is. 

My heart is not yours to keep, especially while you give yours to another. It’s so unfair that I have an empty chest while yours is so full, and so happy. I’ve tried all I can do to retrieve it from you, and I have no idea what else to do. I’m at a loss. 

I want to spend my time with someone who will love and appreciate me for who I am, and give myself to them fully. How can that be when you keep such a big piece of me in your pocket? You seem so nonchalant, and careless with my emotions. I’m a big girl, I’m in charge, right?

Such a naive thought, for once you’ve given your heart to another, only they can return it to you. I’ve been asking for mine back, and though you’ve been so cruel to mine, in your hands it remains. 

What are you doing with something so strong, yet so fragile? So big, yet invisible to the naked eye. 

You know you have me wrapped around your finger. You know you have my heart in your hands. It’s not yours to keep. Can I have it back please? And all in one piece? 

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