I have decided to write a story about two men who participate in a new experiment to help cure chronic pain and illnesses. This is chapter 1, draft 1. Please any feedback would be amazing!!! Tell me what you think so far.
Chapter 1: The Swap
“Don’t worry about the wires, we only need to use them temporarily in order to synch your nerves for the swap.”
The Dr looked him over, making sure that each wire was perfectly placed. There were hundreds of connections, and Cole was beginning to wonder if the experience was going to be worth the money. He reminded himself that for the next week he was required to do nothing at all every day, minus bathe and eat. He could binge watch all the shows he’s been too busy to catch up on, and even pig out on the foods he never has time to cook for himself. He was going on a week long vacation, and making a significant amount of money for it. Far more than his paid leave of absence! “Yeah. It’s worth it.”, he thought to himself
The Dr could tell that though Cole seemed at ease, that the second participant seemed anxious, and was sweating enough to loosen the wire’s suction cups. “I think it’ll be ok, Jonah. Aren’t you excited to feel normal again?”
Jonah shifted in his chair, trying hard not to pull anything off his skin. He smiled at the Dr, and gave a weak thumbs up. He didn’t even know if he could speak, his mouth was so dry from anxiety.
Jonah is what we call chronically ill. He’s been unable to work full or part time in years. He was diagnosed with multiple autoimmune diseases that cause a great deal of daily pain, and endless exhaustion. He hadn’t lived a normal day in over 5 years. Jonah had been seeking any form of relief, willing to travel thousands of miles to work with Drs who were willing to try to treat him. He had been completely unsuccessful… Until now.
The nurses double checked all of the settings on the machinery, and made sure that each suction cup was perfectly placed, and sensing nerve activity. For the nerve functionality swap, both men were to be put under anesthesia until the swap was complete. This is the first time the Dr had performed this experiment on humans, though it had proved very successful on all his other test subjects. If this experiment was successful, they would be one step closer to curing all pain diseases, and ending a far too common drug addiction in pain patients. If he was successful, he would save millions of lives. He would save the world. But no pressure, right?