I Thought About You…

I thought about you today, but maybe not for the reasons you think. I’ve been looking at my life through a microscope recently, trying to find solutions to my ever growing problems. You used to be a solution, but in reality, you were just a hidden problem.

You liked the way I touched you. The way I looked up at you with my big blue eyes. The way I’d softly kiss your face. You needed my admiration and love, yet you gave me little in return. Such superficial actions, requesting my highest of praises. I gave you my love, my loyalty, and most of all my time. You gave me false hope, and plenty of unrealistic expectations.

Perhaps everything I’ve ever wanted is now out of reach, and it’s time to find a new dream. My body has betrayed me more than anything or anyone, but you come in as a close second. Not a single whisper held truth, though you held me up when I needed it most.

I lay here writhing in pain, knowing so many don’t even think twice about leaving me on the floor. Thinking it’s all an act, because that’s how they would behave with the slightest of pain. Over dramatic, frantic, and selfish. I’ve held more pain inside, and my tongue has bite marks from all the words I never let out. The emotions I held back. The pretty little boxes inside in my soul, filled with the agony caused by my body, mind, and… you.

It’s time to burn down our stack of boxes. Free those emotions, and find a new happy place; this one is tainted. Run from the forest, from the trees, and out into a new world. I ache to feel sand between my toes, and a warm breeze on my face. The sound of the ocean. No more boxes. No more you.

I thought of you today. I burned our little boxes. I left our happy place. Off to find a new one. A new one only for me.


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