I used to love the rain so much! The sight, smell, feel, everything! In many ways I still do. It’s my favorite time to do photography. It’s still just as beautiful as ever! However, my body doesn’t seem to agree with me. It’s pouring rain outside today, and inside I’m writhing in pain. I’m sitting at my work station, headphones in so I can focus on my work, because the sound of other people speaking is aggravating me. It’s not them, per say, just that when you’re in this much pain even the littlest things piss you off.
I wish I could be home! I really should be in bed, doped up and watching old Supernatural episodes… but I’m not. I can’t miss any more work until the end of June, unless it is prearranged and I have worked out make up hours with my boss. If I should miss time, I lose my insurance. As someone who relies on medication and Drs to function, I really should have insurance.
I have taken half off the last oxycodone I have, and am waiting for a call from my Dr to refill my tramadol. I’m nearing tears, but I’m holding it together. I am still coughing and recovering from bronchitis, and emotionally drained from the dramatic break up week with “Rain”. My youngest is with her dad this week, as my sitter ended her services on Monday and I can’t start her at a new place until next week. I’m broke, tired, sick, and sad. Another down in my lovely rollercoaster life. How far will this drop be? How far up will my next recovery go? When do I get sunshine?
How long is it going to rain?