Last night after I refilled my prescriptions, and finally allowed myself an opiate (after two weeks of no pain meds, minus tylenol) my body rejoiced and refused to go to sleep. After being in pain for weeks on end, minus the half days I felt mildly ok, yesterday was an amazing and invigorating day. I had basically deprived my body of feeling pain free in hopes that it would start to generate the natural pain killers that most bodies will be able to produce and help with healing. Since my body is on a self destruction rampage, this was a long shot and I definitely fell much shorter than I had hoped. There is nothing wrong with waving the white flag, calling your Dr and asking to refill that prescription. I am out of spoons, and I need a way to make my spoon factory function! I need that feeling that only pain meds can bring. That relief for a sore, and beaten down body. And I got it. And I am not ashamed.
Today I am feeling awesome again! Since the gabapentin has been working much better than anything else I was on before (plaquenil was the most recent, and brought me some temp relief, but it was short lived) my Dr has been suggesting we up the dosage and try to get me on less pain meds. Get me moving better on a daily basis, and maybe help with flares when I get glutened as well. The less my body has to fight and deal with, the better it reacts to my mistakes. I have gone from a dosage of 300mg twice a day, with 900mg at night to 600mg twice a day, and 1200mg at night. Today is my first day on the higher dose, and I can honestly say that the mix of yesterdays boost, and the boost in drugs is already making me feel a bit less.. achy. I am VERY sleepy right now, however I am going to head off to lunch for some soup and a gluten free turkey sandwich. Hopefully I feel a bit better, but if all else fails, caffeine to the rescue!!!
I am hoping that this pleasant mood I am in, and the lack of pain is going to keep me boosted for awhile. Tonight I am watching my niece and nephew for three hours, along with my three kids, so before they arrive I am going to take a hot epsom salt bath, order them some pizza, pick a movie and just kick back. My girls have their new toys they are still excited about from the holidays and birthdays, so it should be pretty easy to keep them entertained. Tomorrow I have my massage, Friday my movie night, and Saturday I am doing a mommy/daughter date night. I very much hope that I continue to have this energy, and to help it along, I am going to be careful to manage my spoons. I am so relieved that the pain let up, and granted the weather stays nicer, I think I am going to make it through the next 4 days with ease. Wish me luck!