Aches

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Tonight my heart aches. It aches for that love I wish I could express. It aches for the person who holds my heart. It aches to let go, and just move on. It aches for me to be healthy. It aches for me to be better… what I was.. who I know I am. I ache tonight, and I will ache tomorrow. I just want the aches to stop. I want it all to go back to what it was. 

I keep thinking if I did so many things different, I wouldn’t be where I am. Please.. just let me be what I know I am. Let me be healthy me. Fix my knees. Take away this RA. Take away the pain, the swelling, the body I can’t live in anymore. Take it all away and give me what every healthy person has. I want to jump, and run. I want to dance ALL night again. I want to climb, and push myself to the brink! I want to look down from the top of a mountain and know that I got myself there! I just wish these aches… would go away. 

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