I struggle with the unconditional love I have for another. I want it to go away, for very obvious reasons. For one, it’s unrequited. That’s incredibly painful.
Two, the owner of my love belongs to another. Now they have spawned.
My heart is so happy for them. I’ve already taken steps within his family to help with the safety of that child, details of which I don’t feel like going into at this time.
It extends to pieces of that human.
I am struggling with my love for this human because it’s extended into multiple people now, and my caring just might even include the women who has kept him from me, and will continue to do so.
Their happiness is very much something I would like to see; actual trusting, loving, caring, happiness. I want nothing more amazing and beautiful for this human. Though he’s hurt so many.
Walked away from the people who care for him and turned his back on his own family. To the point of changing his LEGAL name to another. A family that he burned the bridges to. He made the decision to betray, lie to, and berate. Always, it takes two to tango, however there’s lines you don’t cross. Ooh love, you crossed every one of them. To make things worse, he never admitted, acknowledged, or apologized for those mistakes.
I know this behavior from him all too well. It’s heartbreaking, and the only thing you can do to stay in favor of this wounded soul I adore so much, is stand by his side. Always.
My heart couldn’t handle the break. It was all too much, and nobody had hurt me like that before. Nobody had got behind my walls like that before. It was an emotional travesty. Not ok.
But I stuck it out, and reached out to him! For months! I said I was there always – friends no matter what! Unconditional love!
It’s been nearly a year since the day my heart broke. Later, upon discovery after discovery of details of deception, approaching him about each one, and getting no answers from him. Ever. I finally decided to completely give up on ever being ok with seeing him. It will forever anger, hurt, and break me.
I’m struggling because this unconditional feeling. I want to call and ensure he’s ok. Ensure the safety of his family. Encourage happiness, and parental awesomeness. How to do all the amazing things newborns do. How to care for his post-natal birth giver.
Why do I care? Because secretly I’m not the asshole people think I am.
Because I love this human unconditionally. So it’s causing this struggle inside me.
I’m going to do nothing. I’m going to carry on with my life. Spend the time with my kids, one of which I was just reunited with after 8yrs. Distract my thoughts of this entire situation, my ridiculous unconditional love, and carry on. I know he’s enveloped in his beautiful new baby, and hope he’s able to bask in the joy that having a new baby brings.
Because as much as he has loved before, now he knows what its like to truly love unconditionally. Welcome to parenthood, J.
Best wishes be with you and yours. He’s adorable.